My first entry of 2013. Not a peep about a new year, new aspirations...resolutions to be great and do great things. Truth is, I don't think I've stopped moving since the holidays (besides a few sick days right after Christmas!) To be accurate, I don't think I've stopped moving since September! I've had a certificate to the spa since my birthday...and it sits, tucked safely in the gift bag waiting for me to snatch it up and go relax in the sweet bliss of oblivion. Knowing myself, as I do, I'm pretty sure I would sit and pine about my list of things I need to be doing rather than enjoying being in the moment.
Note to self: go to the spa and enjoy being in the moment. Right.
I am stuck. This last week has been a doozey for me; try as I might, to visualize a solution to my internal struggle to a communal problem...I have yet to take action or make my position known. Where do I sit? This is the age old, if you're not with us...you're against us. Does peer pressure really exist at this age...really? ...if I really sit still and focus, and shush all of the internal chatter and mind- boggling debate, what it boils down to is this. I know what is right, I know that no matter what position I take, somebody won't like it. I know many don't like me and how I operate. I'm ok with this. I'm just a girl. I'm a girl who likes to flit through life...I am sober and unapologetic for what comes out of my mouth...and with that comes a greater responsibility to filter what DOES come out of my mouth. I'm not very good about filtering. I am thankful for a group of girlfriends whom I can be unfiltered with...it makes the difference between sanity and pure madness. I believe kindness and a smile do make a difference. The darkest times in my life are those when I didn't care how others felt or how my actions would effect another. I do believe in choosing the right. I do believe in being a good example. I believe that if I just sit still long enough and visualize and pray...maybe, just maybe, I can handle myself with just a little grace. Maybe.
