workin' it out.

It's day two of my morning workouts and I feel fantastic!  Granted, it's only day two and it's torture pulling myself out of bed knowing it's summer and the kids don't need to be woken up and I could most likely sleep later....I also know that I'm utilizing free time, and so just this once...logic trumps indulgence.  My focus has been on high reps on the Total Gym.  I absolutely love-love-love the Total Gym and the theory of weight resistance.  I love it that it's at home, no excuses allowed, and that I can fold it up and stuff it in a corner!  I do however feel that I am not kicking it into high gear as far as fitting in some cardio and I know, at this point...that's going to be the key to reaching my goal.  I only did this workout once through as well as a short routine on the Total Gym.  I don't want to burn myself out in the first week, so I'm relying on the 'slow and steady wins the race' theory.

I found quite a few of these compact full body workouts.  I think to avoid the plateau of muscle memory, I'll do a different workout every week.  And as much as I hate running I think it's time to invest in a treadmill.  Jeremy and I have been wavering on what cardio machine we should buy and I keep coming back to a fold up treadmill.  With our long winters and questionable weather patterns, it would be nice to have access to a good workout all year round.  Stationary bikes & ellipticals just don't offer the same satisfaction as a...(I hate to say it...) good ol'fashion run.

But for now, I am satisfied.

monkey bread anyone?

Nothing sweetens up an evening like a batch of Monkey Bread...so thankful Hattie shared this little bit of monkey magic!

Monkey Bread
1-2 cans of biscuit dough
Bowl of sugar (splenda) mixed with cinnamon
Bowl of melted butter (3-4 tbsp)
Spray bunt pan with cooking spray and sprinkle with sugar/cinnamon mixture.  Cut uncooked biscuits into fourths, roll into balls and roll each ball in the sugar/cinnamon mixture.  Place balls in the prepared bunt pan occasionally drizzling melted butter over the layers.

Cook @ 350 for 20-30 minutes

*Note - Monkey Bread is hazardous to a carb-conscious diet

Enjoy!

family home evening

One of the aspects that I love about our church is the emphasis that is put on strengthening the family unit and the home.  We are so busy that at times it feels we are constantly on the go and 'home' feels like the rally point...drop & go.  I know that as the girls get older life will become a cyclone of activity and I am prepared for that.  If I want my girls to be active and become well rounded individuals, then we will have to be willing participants.  However, what I've noticed is that now we've fallen into a comfort zone...all is well in Zion.  Much like a dieter who has finally reached that ultimate goal might say, "I'm thin now, I don't need to count calories."  Letting our guard down, even just a little bit, might cause us to fail to recognize the weakening of our resolve.  We have made a commitment to changing our lives, walk in the ways of our Savior and to teach our children.  I want my girls to have a core of faith that will be unshakable when they leave our home.  As much as time spent together is time well spent, we can't allow an outing for ice cream and a walk replace the great value of teaching the gospel principles in our home.

“We have a family home evening program once a week [Monday night] across the Church in which parents sit down with their children. They study the scriptures. They talk about family problems. They plan family activities and things of that kind. I don’t hesitate to say if every family in the world practiced that one thing, you’d see a very great difference in the solidarity of the families of the world” (interview, Boston Globe, 14 Aug. 2000).

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2003/03/family-home-evening?lang=engI

I need to strengthen my own resolve to plan family home evening in our home.  I know the time and effort put into it will benefit our family ten-fold.  I will admit...I have found several blogs with endless prepared FHE lessons.

http://ayearoffhe.blogspot.com/
http://family-home-evenings.com/category/family-home-evening/
http://www.mormonshare.com/fhe/100-fhe-ideas.php

Is there any excuse...really?

focus.

I didn't write at all this weekend.  Fail.

I do, however, feel like I have focus after my carb fast.  Friday night was hard...I was running low on energy and my body was craving a sweet treat like nobody's business...but I made it through the night and did my morning protein routine Saturday morning.  Saturday afternoon I broke my fast with watermelon and a salad topped with grilled chicken.  Not a special meal, but it was aMAZing after two days of protein.

Sunday  I relaxed on the food focus and this morning I was up-n-at'em for a workout.  I've taken a few weeks off so I took it easy as far as the workout itself goes...it won't take much to boost my metabolism at this point, but I do want this to be a part of my daily routine indefinitely which means I need to be consistent.  They say it takes 30 days to establish a habit.  This is precisely why I'm starting at the beginning of the summer vacation.  I'd like to get my routine established so I'm not shell shocked at the beginning of the school year. 

I tried adding 1/2 a scoop of vanilla protein and a teaspoon of chia seeds to my morning galette.  It was dry and flat, not so good. 

I really like trying to keep tabs on what I'm eating using the point system.  It takes a little more time and effort...but it also keeps me accountable.

Time to work on the house.

let go.

uuuuuugh...

Draggin' ass through day #2 of protein.  Must power through.  Day three is known for increased energy.  Not to mention, this time of day is the hardest for me.  Just. Want. Cake. 

First half of the day is the easiest.  Setting a goal to make it through lunch tomorrow. 

We shall see.

optimistic and loving it.

I was encouraged this morning to step on the scale and see that I am only 10 pounds away from my prepreggers goal.  As encouraging as this is, reaching that goal will be when the real work begins.  I say that because even though I'm losing the weight, nothing seems to be going back to the same place.  Bollocks!

Yesterday was the first of my two pure protein days.  Too many all protein days are difficult, especially when it's a hot summer day and I'm craving fruits and salads, but one or two protein days are so very worth it.  In one day I feel such a difference in just the loss of water weight!!!  I know it's not sustainable weight loss, it would come right back if I even looked at a cupcake, but it's encouraging!  This is just the boost that I needed. 

I really like the Dukan Diet. It's pretty easy to understand the parameters of the plan itself.  Self denial is hard, but seeing numbers drop does give the optimism a serious boost!  Last time, I did the Attack Phase, pure protein, for 5 days.  It was a little bit too long...much longer and I think Jeremy would have moved out until I ate some carbs ;) I tend to get a little cranky, I'm not in denial about this.

I love starting my morning with the Oat Bran Galettee:

1 egg white or 3 TBSP egg white substitute
1 1/2 TBSP Oat Bran
2 TBSP fat-free plain Greek Yogurt
1 teaspoon Splenda
*I also add cinnamon; which is approved within the diet code

I top my galette with fat-free plain Greek Yogurt flavored with vanilla, cinnamon and splenda. And I drink a cup of fat free milk, which almost tastes sweet after eating so much meat (I am typically not a meat eater...which makes this all the more difficult for me) 

In a few hours I'll fry up an egg with a nice slice of turkey ham and then I will try to eat quality meats every few hours for the rest of the day.  I stock my fridge with turkey ham, turkey burgers,  deli meats, shrimp, fat-free milk and fat-free plain Greek Yogurt.  The yogurt has been a challenge for me.  I have never and I mean NEVER liked any type of cream or sauce.  I've never eaten sour cream, cream cheese or cottage cheese...I take my sandwiches without mayo and my salads without dressing.  I have had to learn how to flavor my Greek Yogurt to even make it somewhat appealing to eat.  I'm not at the point that I can eat it right out of the carton, but I have all but forgotten the sweetness of  my beloved Yoplait.

When I started adding 'healthy' carbs back into my daily diet I went out of my way to pay attention to the carbs I was eating.  I was shocked to learn that even just 8oz of Cranberry Juice added 32g of carbs to my breakfast.  I added the myfitnessplan app to my phone which has been a great way to analyze a food before I eat it.  The app will actually track what you are eating, but again, it takes time to consistently add in everything you eat.  On the other hand, most diet plans will encourage you to keep a food log so you can track your tendencies.  What I learned from keeping a log was that I was eating good foods, but my portions were off and I was taking in a lot of calories...oy vey.

I have also done a fair share of research about the Weight Watchers program.  The points program is very effective as it keeps you very conscious of how you are racking up your points.  The point make- up of your meals and snacks as well as pacing yourself to save any extra points for a special event or occasion within your week.  There are a few things that I love about the program itself. 

# 1- the points of foods are determined on how healthy a food is and how it impacts your diet.  The healthier the food, the smaller the points...the junkier the food, the higher the points jump.  Logical, but it's something we forget and let's face it...food is an addiction.  There is a reason why high fructose corn syrup is so highly consumed...because it makes food friggin delicious!  HFCS is at the forefront of the weight epidemic.  Until we go back to the basics, eat less processed food and start eating out of our gardens...it's not going to change.

#2 - exercise...get moving!!!  I certainly can't toot my own horn when it comes to a consistent workout program.   I enjoy working out, but I struggle to find the time and the energy.  I may not be in the gym constantly, but I am always on the go.  It's not like I'm a soap-opera-diva popping bon bons over here, it's more of my trying to juggle 846 things at once!  When I get into a routine and make a consorted effort...I feel fantastic.  When I get off track and lose my momentum...it's difficult to hop back on that pony.

#3 - balance.  You can eat healthy and still have your cake too.  Just not a whole cake.  I love adding sweets into my meal plan, so I know that I am feeding the beast but keeping it at bay. Sometimes eating a donut is magical...a dozen not so much.  That said, should you wreak havoc and eat a package of cookies (in one sitting)...count your points and move on.  Don't give up.

Workouts start Monday <333

one pound at a time.

I am a carbaholic.  If I steer clear - I'm all set.  But one little lick of frosting can ensue a feeding frenzy much like that of a starved hostage.  I have found little tricks of the trade.  I keep little dark chocolate squares in the refrigerator so after my meal I can have just a little something sweet that won't result in the eating of an entire cake.  I don't go near krispie kreme donuts and I've stopped strolling through the bakery, we don't need to tempt fate.  I try not to bake, sadly I absolutely love baking!  Thank goodness I didn't become a professional baker...I'd be 800 pounds!!!

I wish I could say I am confident enough to gain 40 pounds and still strut my stuff like nobody's business...but I'm definitely not.  Does that make me shallow?  Maybe, I'll own it.  I will admit I haven't been too excited about the toll the last ten years has taken on my figure.  I enjoy loving how I look and I enjoy my husband loving how I look.  He goes out of his way to say all the cutesy little encouraging husband things like "you are beautiful to me..."  "I love you just the way you are..." But what I hear is "sure, back fat is sexy...I LOVE back fat."  I tend to gain weight easily but struggle to shed it.  Add a decade of slowing metabolism, stress of life, different medications and lifestyle changes that has resulted in my seeking comfort in my tantalizing bakery items.

The other twist in this love-triangle of food is that I LOVE nutrition...I love to read about it, talk about it and encourage others to lead healthy lives.  For the most part we are a healthy family, but we tend to operate in waves.  We'll be very healthy...but then we get super busy and preoccupied, and that is when we dip into the take-out pool.  Of course we find it awfully refreshing...and who likes to get out of the pool??? Life is just so much more convenient when food is prepared for you!  I am a stay-at-home-mother and I absolutely love to cook, but there is something about having prepared food at your fingertips that is just magical.  It's one thing I don't have to plan, prep and usually...clean up is a snap.  Add lack of convenience with a lack of time to workout  and naturally the equation equals back fat.

And so, here I am...a recovering carbaholic with back fat that I don't want.  To date, I have lost 25lbs but that leaves 15lbs and some (or a ton of) toning to do.   I have maintained my weight loss, which is positive...but now I need to kick it into high gear again.  According to a local women's clinic, they run a weight loss program six weeks on and six weeks off.  It sounds counter-productive, but I'm thinking I understand the strategy.   For the past few weeks my body has relaxed and gotten comfortable (maybe even a little soft)...so when I kick it back into ninja mode...it will give my metabolism another boost.  I must say the last 10 lbs wasn't incredibly difficult to lose, it was all about being consistent.  Even weight watchers gives a little "fudge-room" (pardon the pun) to have a little treat now and then so strict denial doesn't result in binging.  So, if I happen to eat a whole cake every now and again...I shouldn't let it set me completely off course.

So here it goes...today and tomorrow are pure protein days.  This is the kick off to my final phase.  My goal is to put the time and energy into making the meal plans, preparing the food and doing some kick-ass work outs that will get me back into my pre-preggers jeans.  If I can create 8 week-long meal plans, I can rotate those throughout the school year.  And let's not be silly...there are blogs out there with already made meal plans...score!  All I need to do is adjust and tweak according to my families taste and voila! We have made incredible strides to lead healthy lives and teach our girls to have healthy attitudes about addiction, food and sense of self.  I try to not let these internal struggles  project onto my girls.  The last thing I want is to end up with a couple of scarf-&-barf teenagers!  However, I don't think it's necessarily negative for them to see me work hard to reach my goals to make healthy lifestyle changes.

The heights by great men reached and kept,
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm thinking this summer is off to a good start.  I've kicked off my blog and my diet and it's only the first week...I have all summer to work on my house ;) 

first day of summer.

There is something magical about watching fireworks with my girls.  Watching them cheer and clap makes me wish I could slow the down the sands of time just a little.  I am loving this age...their silly little dances and endless routines.  Their jokes and anecdotes, hearing about their little school girl crushes and giggles.  Marvelling at how they already have every lyric to the most popular songs memorized.  These are the things that make mommyhood magical.

faith over fear.

I was reading this morning and a reference was made to  (1 John 4:18)  "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear"

My mind trailed off of the subject of the talk I was reading as I thought about my own life and tendencies.  What is the fear that stems from love?  For instance...I love so deeply and so wholly that my greatest fear is..."when will the bottom drop out?"  It's not that I have a perfect life, but I love the life I have.  I love that I have a husband who still laughs at me and makes me laugh...and that our home is not laden with dysfunction.  Or rather, we have a healthy amount of dysfunction...life would be dreadfully boring without just enough dysfunction to keep it  laced with humor.  I have two beautiful girls who are healthy and have bright futures.  Laying the foundation of healthy lives and traditions with them is an honor....and I look to the future with hope and anticipation.

That said, there is a dark side to all of my gratefulness, and that is fear.  The knowledge that in just a blink of an eye it could all be taken away.  Although it sounds morbid, this truly could be a paralyzing fear for me.  If I allowed myself to dwell in it...and I can say, for a short while I went to that place, and I dwelled in it.  It took years to unravel those fears and replace them with healthy parameters.  I remember one time in particular when I was in a grocery store and I didn't like how this man looked at Skye (she must have been around 12 months)  That fear started a domino effect of possible scenarios that resulted in a paralyzing panick attack in the bathroom stall of that store and ultimately led to my seeking help and medication for anxiety.

Years later and a few different therapist's later, whom hold a special place in my heart...each of them...in their own dysfunctional ways.  I have yet to meet a therapist that wasn't just a little dysfunctional themselves, which might be why I related to them so well (lightbulb!)  But years later, I am here.  Loving my life and constantly trying to keep my fear in balance with my faith.  I only wish I could cultivate this perfect love to eliminate my fear, but that is where my faith kicks in.  It is my deepest desire to cultivate the type of faith that allows me to fully trust.  I have no control over the greater plan, but I do trust that I will find depth and meaning in all the triumphs as well as trials of this life I live.

ready. set. GO!

The countdown to the end of the summer has already begun.  My #1 goal...get myself organized.  Is it possible to accomplish that in one summer and maintain it for a lifetime?  I'd like to think so.  There was a time in my life when I considered myself an organized person...within reason.  Add a husband and two girls to the equation and forgettaboudit.  Becoming a mother was such a blessing as it gave meaning and purpose to my  ever-so-wind-driven life...However, I had no idea just how much I would be altered.  Beyond the obvious physical, emotional and mental adjustments one makes as a mommy, there are countless unforeseen adaptations that takes place, that we don't even notice until one day you think to yourself..."when did I get so use to seeing fingerprints that I don't even bother cleaning them off of windows, mirrors, cabinets, kitchen chairs...televisions anymore???  Million dollar idea...start a company that will go in and rid a home of tiny little fingerprints that come in countless flavors, just to name a few...pizza sauce, ice cream, chocolate, marshmallow, peanut butter & or jelly, juice of any flavor, butter, frosting, ketchup, mustard...candy of any sort and toothpaste...without fail.  I can assure anyone, this could be a weekly service as fingerprints miraculously show up within minutes of cleaning a surface of any type.  Who knew that when I became a mother mini-fingerprints would even be a thought on my radar???  And laundry?  I have raised the white flag of the laundry debacle.  I have a suspicion that articles of clothing literally mate and reproduce.  I just can't seem to find a logical explanation HOW four people (two adults and two mini divas) can possibly create a gazillion loads of laundry...weekly.  Because of this laundry anomaly I have adjusted my thinking in two ways: #1-buy more clothing.  I can and will guarantee that there will be clean clothing in any given drawer at any given time.  Whether or not clothing will match or be a 'favorite' is another story, in which case I refer you to thought #2- clean clothes are clean clothes whether or not they come from a basket of unfolded laundry or neatly folded piles...you are welcome to dive in.  Don't judge me.
My goal, before the summer is over, is to create a sort of magical plan that will help me morph into this super-charged mommy that can wake up in the wee hours of the morning, read my scriptures so that I am feeding my spirituality and living in tune with the spirit that I might guide my girls through the storms and valleys of life.  Get my workout done so I can achieve AND maintain a  smokin' hot figure...I'm a mommy not a nun after all (okay fine...and so I can be a living example of good health in all it's glory)  Send the girls off cheerfully with well balanced organic lunches, have a spotless house with all things placed neatly where they belong, laundry clean-folded AND put away.  Volunteer in the girls classrooms, so they know how much I value their education, as well as balance the responsibility of being the PTA president (with a smile). Have a weekly meal plan so that I can prepare home-cooked meals that incorporate favorites as well as new dishes to encourage a well rounded palette.  Plant a garden so my family is eating only the most nutritious of organic foods grown right in our back yard! Keep us organized despite the countless appointments, meetings, committees, playdates, dance practices & church functions.  Find "me" time, time to nourish those ever-so-important female friendships that us women need to maintain our sanity... AND still have energy to keep it saucy in the bedroom.  It does exist doesn't it?  What cap & cape do I have to don to tap into these superhero expectations???
And so, I start here with this blog as my attempt at one of my goals.  To journal.  Journaling is such a romantic word to call the writing down of one's thoughts.  Diary sounds naughty...like it is the keeper of secrets...that needs a lock.  Journaling sounds studious.   Like one who journals has something of worth that should be read for inspiration.  Blogging feels appropriate for me.  I don't know that I have anything of worth or even of interest for anyone to read, furthermore, I don't know that my thoughts should be available for anyone to read...  More often than not, expressing what I am really thinking results in offending at least one person.  Not the most desirable trait for the PTA president to possess...stay tuned to see how that works out.  And this is why I pray daily for a little bit of grace that I might maneuver with ease rather than my typical clumsy footwork through this crazy little thing called life.