stress much?

So yesterday it happened.  I was waiting for it...and it wasn't coming.  I was a little nervous wondering WHY I hadn't had that freak-out moment and wondering when it was going to hit me like a rabid rhino.

Just an average afternoon it was morphing into...the girls were enjoying some lazy time, which I have gladly welcomed this last week of summer.  Next week kicks off the beginning of non-stop movement.  I have been strategically getting myself organized (slowly and figuratively)...putting my plan in order, if you will.  Reading, responding and sending out my emails...

I totally got this!

Except.

Now I'm making decisions.  Decisions.  Decisions that people can be critical about and that I have to answer for.  I can't just say whateeeever I want, then again, I just may...but I'll answer for it!

Holy responsibility batman. I'm not sure I'm mature enough for this???

And I feel it.  My attention tunes out and my brain goes to white noise.  My heart races and I start sweating, my arms go numb, I need air, but there is no air, I am going to hyperventilate.  This is GO time. 

And this is when an amazing thing happens.  I just recognize. I recognize how little I am in this big-big world.  And how 'most' every thing I do is a motion to make something better.  I give so much of myself to service, volunteer work and I am passionate.  And if people want to be critical...well then I might be angry and I will most likely cry; and then I will pull my big girls pants up and I will move on.

This is when I stop, close out my three email accounts.  Shut the 17 calendars I have open and take a few deep breaths.  I eat a pop tart (carbs - good.)  I make myself some tea and I take some more deep breaths.  And then, I decided the best thing for me to do in that moment was to channel that emotion and energy into sending some encouragement to a friend back home who is struggling with all that she's navigating on her plate.  And perspective returns to me.  I can breathe again.

And so I took my girls shopping.  A little dysfunction keeps us healthy, I always say.

the race to the finish line.

And so it goes.  The lazy days of summer come to a close...and we are counting the hours.  Today will be spent  going through clothes, tossing those that have gotten too small or are stained and replacing them with freshly washed, brand new school clothes.  Fresh white socks, never worn sneakers, back packs that still crinkle with newness...lunch boxes that are not yet stained and stinky.  Anticipation is buzzing...how will everyone have changed over the summer?  Kids will have grown, gotten even more goofy, or rotten...or cute???  Teachers are putting their final preps on their classrooms while the students are home sleeping-in for these last few mornings.  And the Mothers, are counting down the hours...

That sweet first day of school...the hours of having a silent house in which nothing moves.  Do I hit the ground running or do I crawl back in bed???  As tempting as it sounds, I look forward to falling into routine.  I look forward to having time to get my agenda done so that I can focus on the girls when the school day is over.  I didn't get nearly the amount of organization done that I thought I would over the summer...however, flip the coin, and I played alot more than I had planned.  We had a lovely relaxed and playful summer, I couldn't ask for more.

I have created a very detailed plan for myself...to keep the mommy, wife, Thrive consultant and PTA President in full swing...AND kicking off a refreshed focus on my diet and fitness goals.  I have maintained my 20lbs of weight loss over the summer, which was reaching a goal in itself!  Now it's time to get down to business, in every sense of the word.

Five days and counting...

yesterday, today, tomorrow

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

~ Author Unknown ~

and the hormones take this round.

We had to take a little trip to the doctor yesterday, Ella wasn't feeling well :(  sad face.

At the end of our visit, I mentioned that I have been having a little trouble with my face.  My complexion, to be exact, has been that of a teenage girl...and has gone from being an annoyance, to down right embarrassing to go in public.  Dr. Dufresne (whom I love-love-love) asked what I had tried and I responded that I have tried most of the teenage acne products in general.  He smirked, and ever so gently offered some advice.  Steer clear from teenage products..."at this stage, you'll want to seek out products for 'maturing skin'" he says.

.....and my inner child wept.

I had to stop and contemplate my options here...should I go home and research the product lines for maturing skin?....I think not, I'm not going home without something to try...this needs to be fixed - like yesterday!  Do I order products? ...takes too long for shipping...bollocks!  My only option was to suck it up and head over to the pharmacy and ASK for the best products for 'maturing' skin...

HUGE improvements, overnight, the change in products have made such a difference...and I am thankful.  However, I will say...it is just sad that we live in a society that categorizes "29" in 'maturing skin' status. 

WHATever.

shelf reliance...my newest venture.

what do you thrive on???

http://sara_cotnoir.shelfreliance.com/sara_cotnoir/

just be still...

We are officially in the month of August.  Hard to believe, but it's time to start prepping for the upcoming year.  The girls are choosing...dance or cheerleading.  The hubby is finishing up his summer projects and collecting wood for the winter...and I have decided now is the time to kick off my Thrive.  As well as serve in the Primary AND act as the PTA president...AND work on my diet & fitness goals...this is going to be a busy year!  My goal is to not let myself get washed away by it all... therefore, my focus is on building my foundation strong.

We had the opportunity to go to the Boston Temple on Saturday, barely...after a rigorous week at camp, but we tried like heck to make it, and we did!  It was well worth the hustle because for just a moment I was able to be still and calm.  I sat in the celestial room, with people that I love dearly, and I looked around - taking it all in.  I was looking at the marble pillars that stand so tall and strong and act as guards in this vast room of sheer gorgeousness.  So clean and quiet.  What it would be like to live in that environment.  I keep thinking that if I put my spirituality and my God first, that will be my personal pillar in my home....as I try and juggle it all.  And I'd like to think that I can.

"Be still, and know that I am God..."
Psalm 46