november?

Well, it's dangerous to write when one is feeling emotionally raw...but I'm seeking the therapeutic benefits of writing, so I'm gonna go with it.

Every time I look at the calendar I have that dreadful moment of realization.  Summer is over and it's NOVEMBER!  ...I feel like the last thing I remember writing was "I totally got this..." and I was making popcorn with marshmallows and then WHAM!  Reality checked in...and just like that, months passed in what felt like just a weeks time. The holidays are just around the corner! And with that, let me just take a walk down holiday lane here for a second...last year we were so busy that by the time the holidays were over,  I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I barely took the time to enjoy ANY of it!  I didn't have time (or the patience) to make Christmas Cookies and decorate them with my girls...I didn't make little goody baskets for our wonderful neighbors who were amazing that first summer we were moving in (and who still are quite amazing...holy lucky)...we didn't go see the Nutcracker like we had planned!  I was so stressed I didn't even WANT to go to our ward Christmas party (which I was glad I did...)  No wonder our society is plagued with diseased...what good is a life if one is too busy to enjoy it???...this is why people have to go on a secluded personal journey to the Himalayas to figure out the "great meaning of life" Quite simply, they go OFF the grid because if you stay ON the grid...the grid will kill you.

The two sanity-seekers I had promised myself were my blog and my diet & fitness goals.  Both have gone flying out the window.  I maintained the diet, not so much the fitness...and I've plateaued, but I am terrified I will lose all ground I have gained (enter in straight-jacket)  For some reason this time of year is especially hard for me in general, I'm not sure what it is about the Fall.  There are traditions of Autumn that I have grown to love...apple picking as a family and now making batches of  the apple butter recipe Grammy Margaret & I found.  Putting away the summer gear and pulling out the sweaters...those first few batches of hot cocoa and the first few fires, sure, all warm and cozy-like.  However, there's also a dark side to Autumn's approach.   What happens, is I seem to slip into a pit of discontent.  I take on the form of the devil and I hate everyone & everything.  WHAT is that all about???  Maybe this is why people do the whole "gratitude" thing where every day they list something they are grateful for...it's neat...but I just tend not to jump on every facebook wagon that strolls through town.  I get so sick of every single 'repost if...' 'like if...' 'play this game...' 'save the rainforest while you feed the goats on your farm...' Oh really...just go F^!* yourself!

Oh to be sane and cheerful every day.