may madness.

May is ending already.  I'm a little shocked, and a little relieved...actually a lot relieved.  I feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders as I pass the PTA torch on and join the patrons in the wings.  I knew it would be challenge to juggle the odyssey's of  PTA ...but this year was extra special (heavy on the sarcasm.)  I have learned so much about character, what defines character and the lack thereof.  I am at peace, and ready to move on. 

This year, and maybe even for several years, I have been on a personal journey to just feel healthy.  My level of motivation wavers, as does my attention.  I have to find that one thing that clicks with my body and makes sense to me.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety, I have struggled with my weight...my body reacts to everything from taking vitamins to taking birth control.  I'll admit, it use to be a vain quest to lost weight, but there has been a shift to feel whole and healthy and ingrain in my girls healthy habits to raise their own families with.  I have searched high & low for this thing I'm looking for...I have taken courses, I have read the theory of just about every diet under the sun, and I have tried many of them as well.  Eat for 8 hours, eat carbs, don't eat carbs, reset your metabolism, how wheat is killing us...the abs diet, the sugar diet, the cabbage soup diet, the Atkins diet, the Mediterranean diet.  Why French women don't get fat, and why Americans do.  I've watched documentary after documentary and read about the results of one clinical study after another.  Jeremy, although he's always been fit and thin, has joined me in his own desire to be healthy.  After books, conversations and documentaries...I think we have finally come to the conclusion that we are comfortable with the idea of lowering our animal-product consumption and having a mostly plant based diet.  We don't feel the need to be 100% vegan, but we do want to be 100% conscious of where our food is coming from and what we are putting in our bodies.  I am excited about where our seeking a healthier lifestyle has lead us and how open our hearts are.  I am thankful Jeremy is so willing to dive right in.  I'm thankful that our girls are young and still so receptive to embracing change.  Skye has always told me that when she's old enough to make her own choices, she is going to be a vegetarian....she didn't even have to wait that long!  I think Jeremy and I both have been intrigued and somewhat attracted to the idea of Veganism, but to truly transition is a bit daunting.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew animals weren't treated 'fairly', but I guess I've always been willing to justify those thoughts with the sad realities of how the food chain works.  And thankful that I'm at the top of that food chain...

This journey might be long...but family is really what my life is all about right now, and nutrition is a big part of that, so I'm thinking I've got the time. 

First step, plant a garden.  Right.

sayonara soy

On my journey to "trim the fat" I made a commitment that I would strive to change my lifestyle in healthy ways that wouldn't fall under the 'diet in vain' category.  My biggest fear was that I would crash diet & pump my system full of chemicals, lose the weight, abstain from all my favorites only to reach my goal - let my guard down and gain it all back.  I definitely try new tricks of the trade to see how I react.  I love experimenting, but nothings seems to work like a healthy diet and exercise.  I have learned so much about processed foods and how food can be the earths greatest medicine for the illnesses that plague our society.  However, eating clean is takes constant persistence and effort and planning.  It's difficult when I want one of my quick and easy go-tos and I must say...I often hit my roadblocks.  Chocolate cravings, I remedy with high-antioxidant dark chocolate squares.  One after my meal and it keeps my dessert cravings at bay.  Salt cravings I have tried to combat with experiments like kale chips & roasted chickpeas.

spicy oven roasted chickpeas

baked kale chips

One of my biggest roadblocks has been my aversion to dairy.  Most all of the 'diet' gurus go bananas for dairy...more calcium!!!  But I absolutely HATE fermented cream, so needless to say Greek yogurt has been a challenge.  Milk upsets my stomach if I drink too much, so protein shakes have been even more challenging.  And so I have remedied my milk problem with soy.  I've been careful to choose soy milk that is made with the whole soybean, but still, I keep reading about the cons of Soy and how soy products release a byproduct that mimics our estrogen, which leads to belly fat, one of my biggest problem areas.

In my quest to kick this plateau. I have decided to replace my soy with almond milk.  Originally, I had reasoned that soy milk was better because it has more protein than almond milk.  But I am stuck and I don't want to give up...so it's time to make a few tweaks & reboot the metabolism.

sayonara-to-soy

flatbread = love.

Want alot more pizza with a little less guilt???

Flatbread

Quality local ingredients.  Lovely atmosphere.  Stellar service.

Go. Now.

& eat the brownie sunday.

Amazeballs.

yin & yang.

The concept of yin-yang which is often called "yin and yang", is used to describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world; and, how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.

As parents, we know these contrary forces well.  They are the monsters that wake our children from their slumbers and the angels that watch over our children while they sleep, good and evil, joy and sorrow, health and disease.  We want our children to feel all of the good and none of the bad, but it seems no matter how we try to shelter and protect them, we can not shield them from the evils of the world.

Our family spent the Patriot's Day holiday weekend in Hampton, NH and we had the most wonderful weekend.   Carelessly walking along Hampton beach and peeking around the boardwalk.  Flying kites, chasing waves, exploring a little summer town we had never been to.  Eating WAY TOO MUCH and then eating some more.  We played with our koko and laughed at her new found obsession with seagulls.  We enjoyed having breakfast prepared for us every morning and a dip in the pool & hot tub when our days activities had come to a close. On Sunday we visited a ward in Exeter and felt the sweet spirit of truth as we laughed and discussed our faith among strangers that felt uniquely like friends.  Such a testament that our souls understand the same truths and feel unified by our love for the Savior.  In our Sunday-School, visitors were introduced.  A gentleman from an older couple shared that they were travelling through because he was running the Boston Marathon on the next day.  It was his third time running the Boston Marathon, but his wife had said he had run close to 20 marathons if not more.  Among the group there were smiles and gleeful congratulations at this man's accomplishments and upcoming event.  My immediate thought was that I would love to take the girls to watch the marathon and how in just a few years they would love and appreciate the energy and camaraderie of the crowd welcoming in the marathon runners. Gathering up the girls from  Primary, it warmed my heart that they were giving hugs and saying their goodbyes to their new friends.  Ella even asked if we could come back and visit next week...eerily unusual for her.

Monday was spent packing up and playing on the beach.  Memories made and hearts full, we drove up to Portland and ate the most bomb-diggity flatbread pizzas at one of our newly found fav spots in Portland. Flatbread.  As I was prepping to send out my rave review on facebook I started noticing some daunting posts from my fb family...and then I saw a post about the devastating explosions from bombs that had been planted at the finish line of the marathon in Boston.  I was overcome with emotion that a place meant to be an avenue of personal triumph and celebration was transformed into a gravesite within seconds.  I felt devastated that it felt unsafe to take our children to even the most family friendly of events.  I felt sickened that only hours before we wished that lovely couple well on their way to the very marathon that was tainted by terrorism.  I was distraught for all those times I felt thankful that we didn't have to fear suicide-bombers among our city streets, and how those sentiments seem to be becoming a sentiment of the past.

As reactions trickle in among the many avenues of social media...people are sad, angry, thankful, giving...and grieving.  We sit and watch the news feeling so very helpless.  I just wish I could keep my precious little family safe in the shelter of my love.  But I know that the only thing I can do for sure, is to continue to have faith.  I can't protect them, I can only love them through whatever lies ahead; good or bad.

 

 

Terrorism strikes Boston

stronger...

There is something to be said about feeling your strength increase.  Pounds & inches are slow to show results, but it doesn't take long to feel your endurance & strength increase.  It offers a challenge to keep altering the routine and resistance...and to stay motivated to keep momentum.  I feel awakened.  I am grateful. 

gratitude.

I often have those moments that time slows down just briefly enough to catch a glimpse of my life, almost as if standing on the other side of the window looking in.   I see my girls and my husband and I marvel at how lucky we are to be healthy and happy.  Life most certainly is not one blissful moment after another...we have our share of disagreements and with three girls in the house we have pleanty of screaming!  But I love our crazy.  Life just wouldn't make sense without it.

the dreaded plateau...

After one has lost 30 pounds, one feels elated.  For a short while anyway.  Now I find myself stuck and frustrated.  I eat well, not perfectly clean...I nurse my sweet tooth and have a sorted addiction to diet coke.  Not all day, but a couple every day...not so bad when you consider diet coke replaced wine!  And so now here I wallow, on a plateau of woe & misery. 

What I really want to do is sit and eat a red velvet cake with my bare hands and just squirt the delectable frosting in my mouth...

But I won't.

I will find a way to kick it into high gear....right after my sweet love affair with red velvet.

L.O.V.E.