and here we are.

My first entry of 2013.  Not a peep about a new year, new aspirations...resolutions to be great and do great things.  Truth is, I don't think I've stopped moving since the holidays (besides a few sick days right after Christmas!)  To be accurate, I don't think I've stopped moving since September!  I've had a certificate to the spa since my birthday...and it sits, tucked safely in the gift bag waiting for me to snatch it up and go relax in the sweet bliss of oblivion.  Knowing myself, as I do, I'm pretty sure I would sit and pine about my list of things I need to be doing rather than enjoying being in the moment. 

Note to self: go to the spa and enjoy being in the moment.  Right.

I am stuck.  This last week has been a doozey for me; try as I might, to visualize a solution to my internal struggle to a communal problem...I have yet to take action or make my position known.  Where do I sit?  This is the age old, if you're not with us...you're against us.  Does peer pressure really exist at this age...really?  ...if I really sit still and focus, and shush all of the internal chatter and mind- boggling debate, what it boils down to is this.  I know what is right, I know that no matter what position I take, somebody won't like it.  I know many don't like me and how I operate.  I'm ok with this.  I'm just a girl.  I'm a girl who likes to flit through life...I am sober and unapologetic for what comes out of my mouth...and with that comes a greater responsibility to filter what DOES come out of my mouth.  I'm not very good about filtering. I am thankful for a group of girlfriends whom I can be unfiltered with...it makes the difference between sanity and pure madness.  I believe kindness and a smile do make a difference.  The darkest times in my life are those when I didn't care how others felt or how my actions would effect another.  I do believe in choosing the right.  I do believe in being a good example.  I believe that if I just sit still long enough and visualize and pray...maybe, just maybe, I can handle myself with just a little grace.  Maybe.

and that's a wrap.

Republicans weep across the nation.  The election is over and Obama is still in the house.  Literally and figuratively.  I had my doubts that Mitt Romney would be able to swing it...I think maybe he's a bit of a mystery to the American people.  We talk of the American dream, but is it really attainable while maintaining a squeaky clean life???  Couldn't be, some may say.  I think it's so rare, that some think it doesn't exist anymore.  Add that to the ever diminishing conservatism within our society and a (let's face it) very charismatic chameleon of a President and it was over before it even started.  The evening started so hopeful and energetic, only to be replaced with that sinking feeling while you watch the results unfold.  Truth be told, I felt that Mitt Romney had a hard time connecting with the average American and communicating his concepts and theories.  He is a business mastermind...socially-awkward shouldn't be such a shocking trait.

I have been watching the posts over the past 12 hours...some express joy, others express disappointment...even anger?  Some feel fear... And yet others, even Romney supporters, are still hopeful.

We are told the times will get worse. We are told that good will be called evil and evil will be called good.  And we are told to prepare.  I'm not a doomsday prepper, as some might call themselves, but I have my share of anxiety.  Do I think something catastrophic will happen that will bring the apocalypse to pass...that would certainly be an act of God and I think no matter how we prepare physically and temporally, the goal there will be to have prepared spiritually...that's a completely different post, not even going to touch it!  The truth is.  I love my husband and my children so much that I would go to great lengths to keep them healthy and secure.  If we are in any sort of situation (hello restore the shore) where my family is cold and hungry - it would absolutely destroy me.  That, in essence, would be my own private Hell.  It brings my heart great comfort to know that we have prepared, that we taking precautions.  We live in a place that has been hit by devastating storms, last year was mild...but the talk about town is that this is going to be a tough winter.  What is the harm in preparing for an emergency situation?  Zombies...probably not.  Ice storm...absolutely. 

 

Maybe it'll work out, maybe not.  But for right now, we are healthy and happy.  For now, we support our local government and we teach our girls about life, love and liberty.  We teach them that red, white and blue still means something and when there is an opportunity to vote...you VOTE.  To prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  To love and respect our Savior and seek faith over fear.  As for the bridges, we'll cross those when we come to them.

confession.

This is a little awkward to admit.  But when I turned down Spears Corner Road this morning, to drop Ella off at school, I saw the road was packed with parked cars for the voting station.  Immediately my heart swelled and I was overcome with emotion.  People DO still care.  I don't know which way it will go, but I'm thankful for people who embrace our democracy and exercise their right to vote.  Furthermore, our country is in less than optimal condition right now.  I'm thankful for those who are brave enough to step up and face adversity and start a movement for change. 

I pray for our country.  For those who fight for our country.  And for our beloved Constitution. 

november?

Well, it's dangerous to write when one is feeling emotionally raw...but I'm seeking the therapeutic benefits of writing, so I'm gonna go with it.

Every time I look at the calendar I have that dreadful moment of realization.  Summer is over and it's NOVEMBER!  ...I feel like the last thing I remember writing was "I totally got this..." and I was making popcorn with marshmallows and then WHAM!  Reality checked in...and just like that, months passed in what felt like just a weeks time. The holidays are just around the corner! And with that, let me just take a walk down holiday lane here for a second...last year we were so busy that by the time the holidays were over,  I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I barely took the time to enjoy ANY of it!  I didn't have time (or the patience) to make Christmas Cookies and decorate them with my girls...I didn't make little goody baskets for our wonderful neighbors who were amazing that first summer we were moving in (and who still are quite amazing...holy lucky)...we didn't go see the Nutcracker like we had planned!  I was so stressed I didn't even WANT to go to our ward Christmas party (which I was glad I did...)  No wonder our society is plagued with diseased...what good is a life if one is too busy to enjoy it???...this is why people have to go on a secluded personal journey to the Himalayas to figure out the "great meaning of life" Quite simply, they go OFF the grid because if you stay ON the grid...the grid will kill you.

The two sanity-seekers I had promised myself were my blog and my diet & fitness goals.  Both have gone flying out the window.  I maintained the diet, not so much the fitness...and I've plateaued, but I am terrified I will lose all ground I have gained (enter in straight-jacket)  For some reason this time of year is especially hard for me in general, I'm not sure what it is about the Fall.  There are traditions of Autumn that I have grown to love...apple picking as a family and now making batches of  the apple butter recipe Grammy Margaret & I found.  Putting away the summer gear and pulling out the sweaters...those first few batches of hot cocoa and the first few fires, sure, all warm and cozy-like.  However, there's also a dark side to Autumn's approach.   What happens, is I seem to slip into a pit of discontent.  I take on the form of the devil and I hate everyone & everything.  WHAT is that all about???  Maybe this is why people do the whole "gratitude" thing where every day they list something they are grateful for...it's neat...but I just tend not to jump on every facebook wagon that strolls through town.  I get so sick of every single 'repost if...' 'like if...' 'play this game...' 'save the rainforest while you feed the goats on your farm...' Oh really...just go F^!* yourself!

Oh to be sane and cheerful every day.

marshmallow popcorn much?

Ok, so I really should weigh 300lbs!  No wonder I've been having to work so hard to shake this booty off...I absolutely LOVE food!  I love cooking for my family and I love cooking with my husband and now that my girls are getting older, it really is becoming so fun to cook with them as well.  Unfortunately, with our insane schedule and my rigid eating schedule, I don't indulge as often (good  thing) but I'm also not cooking as often (bad thing)

So adding another stop to my marathon to perfection...finding the happy medium.  Where is that exactly?

Last night I made my girls one of their favorites.  Marshmallow popcorn.  I don't have exact measurements, but I find they aren't really needed...

I start with popping popcorn kernels in a pan, the good old fashioned way, with a little bit of vegetable oil.  I dump the popcorn in a bowl, then I melt a teaspoon or two of butter in the pan and dump in a few cups of marshmallows.  Once it gets all warm and gooey, I dump the popcorn back in the pan and mix it all up.  You can make popcorn balls if you want to, but I just mound it into individual bowls and sprinkle with cinnamon & sugar. 

Voila!

But alas, it was past 6pm...and I had none.  sad face.

semi homemade.

Last night I dedicated the evening to cooking with my girls.  I find it more than a little ironic that I strive to be a stay-at-home mother, but I'm so busy I'm missing out on the teachable moments.  So, we made dinner together and we loved every minute of it!!  The Lasagna rolls were delightful.... I even ate the garlic bread!!!  THEN...we made semi-homemade donuts.  My kitchen was turned inside out, but it was such a fun evening, it was well worth the clean up.  The only downfall, I'd have to say, between the lasagna, the bread and the donuts (that I just may have smeared a nice thick layer of chocolate frosting on...) I was so sick to my stomach, but I'll own it... it was a fantastical barf worthy night!!!

http://www.makeandtakes.com/semi-homemade-donuts

we didn't use the sugar glaze, but I'll file it away for future nights of indulgence such as these!

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/powdered-sugar-glaze-10000001023815/

...and to top it all off, the scale didn't even budge this morning!

BEST diet EVER!

orange chicken delight!

Consensus is...we LOVE the orange chicken!!!

It was super easy and delish! 

It was a little overcooked, but still amazing!  I had it set on low for about 4 hours.  That was probably an hour too long.  I also had toyed with the idea of adding onions and peppers.  I opted not to, only because I wanted to try the recipe as written for the first time, before I altered anything.  I served over white rice and steamed broccoli.  The recipe itself doesn't make enough sauce (in my opinion)  I think next time I will double the recipe, chicken and all...

About an hour before I want to eat, I will probably add some onions, green and red peppers...and serve over rice.

Can't wait to try it again!!!

http://team-t-adventures.blogspot.com/2010/03/crock-pot-orange-chicken.html