meatless monday.

"The US Meatless Monday campaign was launched in 2003 in association with the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health -- and now, the "cut out meat one day a week" program is active in 23 countries and growing! The campaign’s simple message allows each nation to bring its unique culture, customs and cuisine to the table. Join the movement. It's good for your nation's health, good for the planet!"

http://www.meatlessmonday.com/

The website offers endless benefits to going meatless just one meal a week...everything from reducing your carbon footprint to lowering your risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer.  I must admit...I was a skeptic, but if you take into consideration, how much of the meat we have access to is ridden with chemicals and hormones and the lovely processing to boot.  I'll gamble that eliminating some of that saturated fat does the body good.  Why not.  We might not be ready to strip our entire diet of all animal product and go all vegan with our bad-selves, but I can most certainly get a little adventurous and explore some vegetarian recipes.

For lunch today I threw together a MorningStar spicy black bean burger, a toasted multigrain sandwhich thin which I then slathered with dijon mustard and smashed avocado.  I will admit I was a little unprepared as my lettuce mixture had gone bad, but i did slice up a little yellow onion which gave a delicious crunch and flavor to the ensemble.

Deeeee-lish!  I'm thinking I could eat it again for dinner....

the battle of the brownie.

Every girl, at one time or another needs to give themselves permission to just eat a whole batch of brownies.  I love brownies.  Come Sunday, I start craving a batch of brownies.  I keep searching for a magical recipe that will give me permission to eat the whole batch without guilt.  And so, I have run a little experiment...and I have enjoyed every single lick of it!

Experiment #1 - brownie mix + one can of diet coke; this was an interesting combination.  The mixture turned out very runny.  The brownies turned out a little soft and gooey, I'm thinking Jeremy may have taken them out a little too early.  They were tasty, very sweet and definitely satisfying.  I think maybe I should make them again...just to see if the texture would be a little different cooked a little bit longer.

Experiment #2 - brownie mix + one can of black beans.  I rinsed the beans and filled up the can with water,  covering the beans.  Liquefied the beans in the blender and mixed with the brownie mix.  The mixture was much thicker and turned out very cakey (almost dry)  The taste was good, there was a very distinct earthy aftertaste.  I found them somewhat satisfying but left me wanting more...

Experiment #3 - brownie mix + one can of white beans.  Again I rinsed and liquefied the beans and mixed them with the brownie mix.  My thought was if the black beans were a little too earthy, maybe the white beans would have a lighter edge.  Two thumbs down.  This was the worst of all the experiments!!!  The brownies were pretty much awful.  There was no flavor, no cake-like texture, no gooey...no nuthin.  FAIL.

...so I guess, it is my job to create a carb free, zero calorie brownie.  no prob.

summer blues.

I had a conversation recently with a fellow stay-at-home-mother, about life being so busy.  Her perspective, much like mine, was coming from a place of filling her time with so much...that she barely had time for her kids.  She was feeling guilty and pulling back from other activities.  It made me stop to ask myself, why AM I a stay-at-home-mother?  Sometimes I get so wound up it would be more accurate to refer to me as a fire-breathing-dragon.  And  I most certainly don't stay at home so I can be there for my children's every beck & call...although I don't think the girls have figured that out yet.  I am home, because when my girls were small...I didn't want them to spend majority of their toddler life somewhere other than home.  I wanted to lay the foundation of our values and belief system, who they were and be a part of even the littlest moments.   I want to be here so they are free to invite friends over and have mom here... I want to be home when they are teenagers and need that adult supervision to stop them from doing stupid and hormonal things (or at least, stop some of the stupid and hormonal things they will do...) and I want to be here when they need someone to talk to...

Don't get me wrong, I have many friends who absolutely love their careers and juggle the two very well.  I know some women who feel they weren't cut out to be a stay-at-home-mother, but feel refreshed when they come home from work to their children. I love that honesty and it is proof positive that there is more than one way to skin a cat.  I have spoken with many who feel that daycare has given their children a sense of self and independence that they wouldn't have developed under mommy's wings.  I totally get that.  And then there are the haters...that talk a bunch of trash about bon-bon eating, soap opera watching stay-at-home-mothers.  I'm just gonna throw it out there, that I've heard those very same individuals throw out a whistful...

 and I QUOTE..."then I could stay at home with the kids..." 

The irony was not lost on me, I assure you.  I would never call them on it, but I have to admit....I did the inner gloat and maybe even the BOOYA dance just a little bit.  If I had a penny for every time I heard "oh, but you wouldn't understand...you're a stay-at-home" "how could you be so busy...what do you do?"  "I would have a perfect house if I was a stay-at-home" "I am so busy at work...would you mind?"   I get more phone calls from people asking me for my time, because I am a stay-at-home...what else do I have to do with my time???  Don't get me wrong, I love to help.  But I don't necessarily want to watch other peoples children because their daycare closed. I have sympathy for the situation, but the reason I budget our household is so my girls don't have to go to daycare...and we thankfully don't have to deal with the woes of daycare.  Just because my girls are home...certainly doesn't mean I want to take on three more so someone can 'get away' and go play golf for the afternoon!  There is a reason why I only had two children, because I only have the mental capacity for two and I was realistic with my limits....I didn't enjoy pregnancy and the whole 'baby & toddler' phase scared the holy hell out of me...not my piece of pie (if you know what I mean) 

A little piece of me wonders if people think the life of a 'stay-at-home' is like, every day being the most blissful of "Saturdays"...we wake up, I make a lovely breakfast for my family - in my robe and slippers, read the paper and pick up around the house....maybe do a project in the garden, make lunch that we eat out on the deck.   I drink a splendid cup of herbal tea before I enjoy an afternoon snooze...and then I wake up (with that rested cat-stretch and yawn of course) feeling refreshed only to don my apron and create an exquisite meal that I found on none other than marthastewart.com.  After dinner we play board games and take tubbies and then I read my girls a bedtime story before we say our family prayers.  Then I sing sweetly to them while they drift off to slumber-land.

Let me reassure any one of you, if it does exist-it does not exist in this house.  I am constantly moving and on the go...friends over here or going over there, going to the park, swimming at Woodbury, going to the movies...sleepovers and summer camp? (did I really think that was a good idea...really?) I have to schedule in my housework, otherwise it won't get done...I have to get up, before the girls, to fit in my workout...otherwise it doesn't get done...my calendar for any given month is full by the time we get to the first day...we make plans with friends 3 weeks ahead of time...we schedule lunch dates while the girls are at school so we can enjoy just the two of us.  We deal with stomping feet, rolling eyes, tears & screeching on a daily basis...I can't figure out why I can't make a meal plan and stick with it...but mainly I think it's because we really aren't sure what nights we'll actually be home to eat the lovely meals I have chosen...between school, dance, activity days, church callings, PTA, volunteering in the classrooms, shelf reliance, meetings for any one of the committees I serve on, remembering appointments for any one of the four of us, managing our budget, grocery shopping,  housework AND with whatever energy I can muster....trying to keep the romance alive after 10 years is an absolute must!  Life is insanity....every day.  And if I should have a 'down day'  I savor every last minute of it.  They are few and far between, but they happen.

I must say, our life is full of joy.  I love it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world....but there are moments.  Moments when I am thankful for the hours my girls are at school.  When I can multitask and run errands in silence.  When the car is quiet, sometimes I don't even listen to music.  Sometimes I'm so lost in thought, I don't even realize the music is on.  I am thankful that I have those hours to get life in order, even just a little bit, so I can actually listen to my girls talk about their day...and help with homework and make dinner.  We are almost exactly in the middle of summer break and I'm feeling like...I need a break.  Days are just running into each other at this point and  the splendor of summer is starting to wear on me a bit.  We run-run-run,stop at the house, drop off some stuff, pick up some other stuff and we run-run-run some more...sure, it's all fun & games...but I'm exhausted!  A couple of hours without hearing..."mommy, mom, mom, mom, mommy....MOMMY!" would feel like a vacation!  But alas, next weekend the girls and I will leave for summer camp and as I prepare I often think to myself...

Thank goodness I am a stay-at-home-mother and I can experience summer camp with my girls...our life is indeed blessed.  In some small way, I have decided, chaos is bliss <3

to veeg or not to veeg.

Confession: Jeremy and I are not exactly the best at resolutions.  I blame a little on our tendency to get bored and a lot on our busy lifestyle.  We tend to stick with something for a few weeks.  Just long enough to see good or bad results and then we either get busy or our focus shifts to yet another resolution of interest.  This is truthfully why things like our marriage catches me by surprise.  For one or both of us to stay interested in the other and in the struggles that a marriage can bring...it surprises me...is that bad?  Maybe, but it's honest. Not to say there haven't been ALOT of bumps and bruises along the way...I must say, I doubted anyone could keep my attention for my whole life. We truly are devoted to each other and at the rate of divorce these days...what are the odds we find each other and get it right?  Religion is another issue that has blown my ever-loving mind a bit.  After all of the discussions over the years and trying so many different non-denominational services, I was more than a little bit surprised when Jeremy really felt he wanted to take the missionary discussions.  So much that, I wasn't sure if he understood that the Latter-day Saints don't just go to church, it is a lifestyle - a belief that is lived and breathed mind, body and soul. Again, what are the odds?  When our family was sealed in the temple, we were in awe that not only had we diligently embraced our faith and the lifestyle that went along with it...but it was making us stronger and happier with each step.

And now: Vegan?  ...seriously?  can I even do it? 

It's not even so much the meat, I'm not a huge meat eater in the first place.  I do love my chicken and I love my fish...although, I don't eat fish as often as I'd like...but Sushi?  Can I really give up Sushi?  It makes me sad to even contemplate never having Sushi again!  What about having meat on occasion, like, holidays and maybe an anniversary Sushi dinner?  Is that considered a taboo crime in the Vegan society? I think I could do Vegetarian...95% of the time.  It might scare me a little bit to rid our life of all animal products...eggs?  I love eggs!  Milk? ...I guess we aren't true  lovers of milk in this house, but I use it a lot...and Jeremy likes it in his protein shakes.  Although milk now has so many alternatives, I almost think that could be considered a non-issue.  I have thought a lot about the whole 'eat clean' revolution.  Rid your bodies of the processed junk and chemicals...I get it, that would be amazing.  But I must say...there is a reason WHY food addiction is so prevalent...because these foods are AMAZING!  And what, I would like to know, do Vegans eat for junk food?  Junk food can be life-saving when you just need 'something'...mainly during those tumultuous hormonal weeks.  And what about soda?  I have been very comfortable in my soda consumption.  I have given up ALL of my vices...including coffee & tea...so if I want to drink a diet coke...well then, I'm going to drink one.  I think my body might go on a violent protest should I deny the sweet chemical-ridden joy of diet coke.  I'm quite sure, a detox process of this proportion would need medical supervision.

Leaves me to wonder what my husband is thinking about all of this?

a walk along the coast of good intentions...

Stone Cairns - Sacred Expressions article  by Cynthia Morin for Spirit of Eureka magazine

Tonight we grabbed a quick dinner with the girls and went down to the Gardiner waterfront.  Afterward, Jeremy wanted to walk a little trail to explore with the girls.  As we walked we began to notice these rock stacks that are quite impressive if you really stop and contemplate the art.  We stepped off the beaten path and unexpectedly ended up walking on a beach where we found even more breath-taking formations.  Some practice rock balancing as an artform while others balance rocks with great intention and as a meditation.  Tonight as I walked along appreciating the beauty of these unlikely works of art, it made me miss the time that I experimented with meditation and how it did quiet my being and bring me to a more introspective corner of my soul.  I find prayer does bring me that quiet, but not in the same way as attempting to clear my mind completely.  Although, trying to quiet all of the personalities did cause quite a schitzophrenic panic...but the girls learned to cooperate after a while.  Maybe I should go gather up some rocks and give these ladies a project!

Just another thing to add to my to do list...
# 926453728: think nothing. balance rocks.

to be or not to be.

Consistency.  The most difficult of all challenges.  To be consistent in parenting is said to be the hardest part.  To consistently eat healthy, exercise...write in a journal.  How does one stay on a consistent schedule when life is out of control CRAZY???  Our life is busy!  As much as it can be overwhelming at times...I think we like it that way.  We love to make plans with people we love and friends we enjoy...we love to have friends over...we love to experience new things with our girls...but it keeps life forever in the fast lane.

If I was going to be perfectly honest...I am enjoying the lazy days of summer.  I have not been getting up at the break of dawn, I'd get more done if I was.  I haven't been sticking to a rigid workout schedule or a consistent diet, my weight wouldn't have plateaued if I had...and if I'm not careful, I will start to gain it back.  That would be de-vestating.  Unfortunately my body-type needs that strict program. 

However, taking into consideration the positive.  I am still wearing clothes that I haven't fit into in years.  And most important...mind, body and spirit is more balanced than I, probably, have ever been in my life.  I am happy, I am healthy, I have a strong marriage and two happy healthy girls.  I'll figure out the schedule...someday?

9 amazing years.

Today Jeremy and I celebrate 9 amazing years.  These years have not been perfect, by any means....there has been much turmoil and sadness.  Many mistakes have been made, but much forgiveness has been forgiven.  When one felt weak the other stepped up to show strength, when one felt lost the other has been the beacon.  We made a bold move leaving the Marine Corps and moving to Maine...but we have made this our home and built an amazing life.  Our life is not perfect, we still have a lot of work to do on our house, cars, gardens, property and many-many-many goals to reach.  We have faith in our home, we have trust for each other and unmeasurable love for our children.  Jeremy and I still have a humor that make each other laugh out loud, we still love to cook in the kitchen together, we love to sit and talk, we love our faith, we still have passion for one another and a passion for this crazy little life that we live.  I am so thankful for that night we bumped into each other at the little store on base, that he invited me out and that I said yes.  Best decision I ever made.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." Judy Garland

To the woman who's made me a better man each year for 9 years, I love you, and Happy Anniversary!
Defying the odds with you, happily, and making our marriage stronger as time goes on, you are the best reason for me to wake up in the morning!
I LOVE YOU!

...what can I say?  I'm a lucky gal.