one pound at a time.

I am a carbaholic.  If I steer clear - I'm all set.  But one little lick of frosting can ensue a feeding frenzy much like that of a starved hostage.  I have found little tricks of the trade.  I keep little dark chocolate squares in the refrigerator so after my meal I can have just a little something sweet that won't result in the eating of an entire cake.  I don't go near krispie kreme donuts and I've stopped strolling through the bakery, we don't need to tempt fate.  I try not to bake, sadly I absolutely love baking!  Thank goodness I didn't become a professional baker...I'd be 800 pounds!!!

I wish I could say I am confident enough to gain 40 pounds and still strut my stuff like nobody's business...but I'm definitely not.  Does that make me shallow?  Maybe, I'll own it.  I will admit I haven't been too excited about the toll the last ten years has taken on my figure.  I enjoy loving how I look and I enjoy my husband loving how I look.  He goes out of his way to say all the cutesy little encouraging husband things like "you are beautiful to me..."  "I love you just the way you are..." But what I hear is "sure, back fat is sexy...I LOVE back fat."  I tend to gain weight easily but struggle to shed it.  Add a decade of slowing metabolism, stress of life, different medications and lifestyle changes that has resulted in my seeking comfort in my tantalizing bakery items.

The other twist in this love-triangle of food is that I LOVE nutrition...I love to read about it, talk about it and encourage others to lead healthy lives.  For the most part we are a healthy family, but we tend to operate in waves.  We'll be very healthy...but then we get super busy and preoccupied, and that is when we dip into the take-out pool.  Of course we find it awfully refreshing...and who likes to get out of the pool??? Life is just so much more convenient when food is prepared for you!  I am a stay-at-home-mother and I absolutely love to cook, but there is something about having prepared food at your fingertips that is just magical.  It's one thing I don't have to plan, prep and usually...clean up is a snap.  Add lack of convenience with a lack of time to workout  and naturally the equation equals back fat.

And so, here I am...a recovering carbaholic with back fat that I don't want.  To date, I have lost 25lbs but that leaves 15lbs and some (or a ton of) toning to do.   I have maintained my weight loss, which is positive...but now I need to kick it into high gear again.  According to a local women's clinic, they run a weight loss program six weeks on and six weeks off.  It sounds counter-productive, but I'm thinking I understand the strategy.   For the past few weeks my body has relaxed and gotten comfortable (maybe even a little soft)...so when I kick it back into ninja mode...it will give my metabolism another boost.  I must say the last 10 lbs wasn't incredibly difficult to lose, it was all about being consistent.  Even weight watchers gives a little "fudge-room" (pardon the pun) to have a little treat now and then so strict denial doesn't result in binging.  So, if I happen to eat a whole cake every now and again...I shouldn't let it set me completely off course.

So here it goes...today and tomorrow are pure protein days.  This is the kick off to my final phase.  My goal is to put the time and energy into making the meal plans, preparing the food and doing some kick-ass work outs that will get me back into my pre-preggers jeans.  If I can create 8 week-long meal plans, I can rotate those throughout the school year.  And let's not be silly...there are blogs out there with already made meal plans...score!  All I need to do is adjust and tweak according to my families taste and voila! We have made incredible strides to lead healthy lives and teach our girls to have healthy attitudes about addiction, food and sense of self.  I try to not let these internal struggles  project onto my girls.  The last thing I want is to end up with a couple of scarf-&-barf teenagers!  However, I don't think it's necessarily negative for them to see me work hard to reach my goals to make healthy lifestyle changes.

The heights by great men reached and kept,
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I'm thinking this summer is off to a good start.  I've kicked off my blog and my diet and it's only the first week...I have all summer to work on my house ;)